Raising your voice can be helpful in some specific situations, but it is important to do it carefully and consciously.
In case of emergency, of danger, screaming is certainly a functional choice: it helps us to attract attention to get help; to alert to protect; to scare (ill-intentioned guys)…
Raising your voice may also be necessary to communicate in noisy environments, such as at concerts, crowded parties; it can be suitable to give energy in sporting contexts, to underline a particularly important passage in a public speech…Uplifting joy can be positively contagious!
The fact remains that the 'loud voice' should be used sparingly and always with the intention of improving communication, not to intimidate or to give vent (in a social context) to a reaction. In these cases, in fact, raising your voice rarely leads to being heard.
How many times have you heard a manager or a colleague raise their voice in frustration over a late project, an error in the data, in a meeting when a debate has heated up? How many times in your family have you heard someone raise their voice (or have you raised it) because your son hasn't done his homework, your partner has left a mess in the house, you have received an unpleasant response in an argument? How many times have you heard someone raise their voice (or have you raised it) to make your opinion prevail over someone different from yours?
In cases like these, if we raise our voice, the other person generally closes down. He isolates himself.
Because, if they 'scream at us' too often, our attention shifts from the message to the annoyance that the noise causes us.
And so, we equip ourselves with earplugs, closing ourselves in a protective silence. And we probably remain there even when our interlocutor actually raises his voice to alert us, resulting in us being more exposed to risks and our interlocutor less effective.
If we want to be heard, then let's turn down the volume and start listening first.
Let's listen not only to words but also to gestures, facial expressions, emotions…
Let's listen carefully. And with intention, avoiding being carried away, crushed, by reactions, by haste, by the desire to solve immediately.
Let's try to understand what the needs of our counterpart are, what he/she is willing to accept, therefore building bridges. Only in this way will we be able to create a space for a constructive dialogue, perhaps meeting halfway along the way, doing good for ourselves, our teams, our loved ones.