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Everything you wanted to know about coaching but were too afraid to ask!
Pubblicata il 11/12/2024

According to the International Coaching Federation (ICF), coaching is a partnership with clients ( individuals and teams ) in a thought-provoking, creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.

To accompany through coaching, the coach uses his/her skills and tools : he/she focuses on what the client says and does not say, to support self-expression and exploration; he/she facilitates the client's insights and learning using questions, silence, metaphors, analogies ...

 

But why should we undertake a coaching path?

 

Coaching leads first of all to an increase in our self-awareness .

Thanks to it, you can become more aware of everything, potentially! Of your emotions , your thoughts and your behaviors , and how they combine with each other to create recurring patterns; of your needs, priorities, values and goals ; of your strengths and the skills to be nurtured .

Thanks to coaching, each of us can discover new worlds and new ways (of exploring, thinking, doing ...).

But coaching does not only increase self-awareness: it can also be a valid support in increasing awareness of others . Coaching can help us to fully understand their language , emotions, patterns... to evaluate the impact that our behaviors can have and to choose , consequently, what to do (and how to do it), to get closer to the impact we desire.

How many times have we behaved in a way that was not aligned with the needs of others (listening little; giving little recognition; taking all the limelight...) and then felt frustrated because we did not receive their collaboration when we needed it? How many times have we remained still, waiting for others to do it, because "it was right this way", because "they had to think about it"..., ending up with nothing?

Coaching offers us the opportunity to reflect before acting , to reflect on why we are not acting; to define constructive strategies; it supports us in recognizing and training ourselves to manage our emotions, to develop our communication skills, to create healthy and satisfying personal and professional relationships (and opportunities).

This is how the coach, through questions, feedback and other tools, accompanies the client (individual and team) to transform awareness, learning and intuition into actions.

Coaching releases power . Coaching releases potential. Coaching sets us free, … by emphasizing the present (the oft-cited “here and now”), accompanying us to find and keep the focus.

Coaching uses the past as a life lesson : it does not pretend to resolve what has already happened, which is, in fact, past, gone, closed, on which we can no longer act .... Instead, it allows us to look at the past to draw useful learnings for our today, at the service of a conscious construction of our future .

It helps us understand how to proceed one step at a time , verifying the effectiveness of our actions and the adequacy of our resources with respect to our objectives, thus allowing us, gradually, to reach our goal, or, to discover, one progress after another, new perspectives, new goals more relevant to us.

Try to imagine being on board a high-speed train: sure, you will arrive at your destination quickly , but what will you notice along the way? Will you enjoy sightseeing? Will you discover any intermediate destinations that might be worth visiting? Will you have enough time to enjoy the journey?

No.

On a regional train , however, you may feel impatient . But you will have the opportunity to observe the many panoramas that follow one another; you will be able to see how they change, enjoying the inspiration of the multiplicity of scenarios and perspectives. You will be able to decide that, perhaps, an extra stop to explore, might be pleasant and be useful. You will be able to choose with greater clarity.

But there is a catch.

Before starting a coaching journey , it is necessary to agree on mutual responsibilities (a key theme in the coach's skills).

As a coach I remember it every time: I can accompany you or your team to see that there is a door, to discover how to open it with the tools available, to check for obstacles and identify how to overcome them... but the final choice to open the door and cross the threshold is up to you alone. This, for me, is the beauty of coaching: promoting the autonomy of the client, creating Independence, because each of us has our own tools , we just need to want to discover them and put them into action!

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The body language: how emotions take shape Throughout history, numerous scholars have attempted to explore the intricate interconnection between body and emotions. From psychology to neuroscience, research has shown that our physical state can profoundly influence our emotional state and vice versa. The theory proposed by James and Lange argues that emotions arise from the physiological responses of the body. According to this perspective, we are not sad because we cry; rather, we cry because we feel sad. In other words, emotions are the result of our physical reactions to external stimuli. Charles Darwin, for his part, contributed significantly to the debate on the link between body and emotions with his work "The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals", in which he underlines the adaptive value of emotions, functional to the optimization of social communication and, even before, to guarantee survival! Paul Ekman , inspired by Darwin, has conducted extensive research on emotions and facial expressions. There are universal emotions, recognizable through specific expressions, regardless of culture: joy, sadness, fear, anger, surprise and contempt, which we communicate through brief and involuntary manifestations, known as "microexpressions" Richard Lazarus then introduced the Coping Theory, emphasizing the role of cognitive appraisal in the emotional process. According to Lazarus, emotions are not only physiological responses, but are also influenced by our interpretations and appraisals of situations. This implies that by modifying our perception and our bodily responses, we can influence our emotions. Awareness of how the body reacts to emotions can therefore become a valuable tool for managing stress and negative emotions. And, if it is true that emotions manifest themselves in the body , it is equally true, according to studies, that the body can influence emotions. The connection emotions – body – mind is a continuum in which each element influences the other, in a circular way.   How then can we use our body as a tool to manage emotions? Posture: Posture has a direct impact on our emotions. Try to maintain an open posture: shoulders relaxed and head held high. You will notice an improvement in your perception of yourself and in the perception that others have of you. Mindful Breathing : Breathing can bring us back to the present when anxiety takes over. We breathe in the here and now, not in the past or the future. Focusing on our breathing keeps us grounded in the present. When you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to focus on slow, deep breaths, allowing your body and mind to relax. Movement: Whether it's a walk, a run, or a yoga session, physical activity releases endorphins, which can elevate your mood and reduce tension. Facial Expression: Although emotions may come up involuntarily, we can practice using positive facial expressions. Smiling, even when we don't feel happy, can trick our brain into improving our mood. Meditation and Mindfulness : Meditation and mindfulness practices can increase awareness of emotions and the body. Learning to recognize emotions without judgment allows us to limit reactions and act more consciously.   The theories of Ekman, James, Darwin, Lazarus and many others offer us inspiration to explore and understand emotions and their connection to the mind and body more deeply. By using our body as a tool, we can influence our emotions in a positive way, improving our quality of life and our relationships. Every small change in posture, facial expressions, listening and breath management can have a big impact on our emotional state.   Are you ready to discover how body awareness can transform your emotional world? Start your journey now and enrich it with experiences every day! Curiosity makes us alive, awareness makes us powerful.  

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